Authenticity

Authentic: 1) of undisputed origin; genuine; 2) made or done in the traditional way, or in a way that faithfully resembles the original; 3) based on facts; accurate or reliable; 4) relating to or denoting an emotionally appropriate, purposive, and responsible mode of human life.

Dictionary definitions, while sometimes annoying and way overused, are good because of the blunt, direct way they express things.

A while ago, when we moved from Colorado Springs, a good-sized city, to a little seaside town in South Africa with a population of 4,000 and no people my age (popular retirement place), I was faced with a dilemma: who am I, actually? I knew who I was with my friends, and in my various social circles, and at church, and in a place I knew. It’s kind of shocking what happens when, at age 16, you are taken away from where you grew up and put in a place so far from anything you’ve ever known. You realize how defined you are by other people; how much you have adjusted yourself to fit the expectations and desires of others; and how little you really know yourself, and know who Christ made you to be. You also realize how much unnecessary fluff and drivel there is, not only to you and your life, but to your beliefs.

There is also the 3rd culture element. I am a 3rd culture kid; a South African who lived in the US for 10 years, thereby combining two very different cultures to create a 3rd, unclassifiable one. There are more of us in the world than you probably think, and we struggle with this: we do not belong to the first culture entirely, nor to the second one entirely, and our third one is so unique and undefinable that we just kind of feel like nomads. This obviously adds to the identity issue.

It was difficult, I’m not gonna lie. But I had about three years to be alone, and I do mean alone, with my parents and God. I even finished school over the internet. Now I’m glad, because those three years were a desert, and we all know that God does His thing wonderfully well in deserts. It’s kind of impossible, actually, to be in a desert, literally or figuratively, and not have God speak to you and not have yourself be changed enormously. Or, not changed; renewed. Recharged. Rebooted. God showed me this very obvious and yet very challenging fact: I am not defined by being tall, or liking certain movies, or reading certain books, or being South African, or being American, or being a traveler, or being a 3rd culture kid. I am defined by Him, and I am me, and that’s all I ever can be. Everyone is completely unique, and our human attempt to define each other is pointless and really quite silly. The truth is, none of us fits into a box. None of us should try. We are who we are.

Authenticity. To me it is synonymous with integrity, with truth, with genuineness and sincerity. It is who God made you to be. It is the truth without the fluff and extras. Attempting authenticity, daily.

A Summary of Epicness

So I thought I’d give you a rundown of all the fun that’s been had on this trip, because that’s fun.

1. Lots of freezing cold nights driving with the windows down and the music blasting. It’s a medical miracle that I do not have a cold.
2. Trying on wedding dresses at two different places and realizing that I must have been an actress in another life.
3. Eating my weight in McDonald’s, Chinese food, and Mexican food, and yet…not gaining weight. Another medical miracle, methinks.
4. Of course this could be because I’ve been walking my butt off. The mall, the town, the downtown…all these provide adequate exercise, and at 7,000 feet above sea level, too. Hurrah for being aided in my junk food quest!
5. Lots of Starbucks.
6. Spending an evening watching the stars on the hood of a car in 0 degree (Fahrenheit) weather (which is something on my list, by the way) and then high tailing it out of there when we realized a possibly drug deal was happening, and hiding out at a gas station until the suspicious cars were gone, while being nourished by hot chocolate and powdered donuts.
7. Renting and watching 8 movies while gorging ourselves on junk food.
8. Seeing a super rad movie.
9. Getting breakfast at IHOP (pancakes, not prayer). Ever notice how no one ever gets breakfast? it’s always “let’s get lunch” or coffee or dinner. We’re fighting the man one step at a time.
10. Seeing two of the most adorable cats in existence and the rad family who belongs to them. They also have the coolest names. Merlin and Sumo. COME ON. Of course, the coolest named/most adorable cat ever still remains Pounce. <3
11. Going to a gorgeous building in the downtown and singing in the stairwell.
12. Accidentally visiting the FBI in a different building in the downtown, and getting bribed to stay by an FBI guy with "free candy." Which we never got. Maybe this is why people don't trust the government, because they promise free candy and then don't give you any.
13. Going to the Ancient Mariner in Manitou Springs, which is a very pirate themed bar. And then drinking mocktails at said pirate themed bar while watching a guy play with his cute puppy. And then telling him his puppy is cute, at which point he and his friend go in a very non-creepy way, "You ladies are cute too." Yes. Yes we are.
14. Eating way too much at the Asian Buffet, and then, as per tradition, writing our names and the date on the bottom of a certain table. One of the many reasons why we love this place? Because none of the people who work there think it's at all suspicious or wrong that two chicks are lying flat on the booth bench thingies with pens in their hands.

Things remaining are:
1. Epic Gone With the Wind/other movies/more reading of stories day
2. Epic hanging with Rachel
3. Other Epic-ness that awaits! Three days is time for many, many things

On the Road Again

I am happy to report that I am checked in for both the Cape Town – London flight and the London – Denver flight, there seems to be clear weather until Saturday (the 26th), and I’m all packed and ready to go. If this had not worked out, it would have been one of those unfortunate times where I keep telling God, “I trust you and I know you have a plan and stuff, and I know everything works out for the best, and that it’s not about me being happy all the time, but just so you know, at this very moment, this sucks.”

In addition, I also just discovered that my Christmas-y blog background is capable of doing that Magic Eye thing. There’s no pop-out thingy because I made the background myself and I’m so not that skilled, but still, the 3D effect is kind of cool. In case you have no clue what the heck I’m talking about…Magic Eye Info, aka Anti-Boredom Device 3000.

Since I won’t be blogging again for a while…have a very merry Christmas (that’s right, Christmas)! I hope you’re spending it with family and/or friends and/or people you can stand to be around. Northern Hemisphere: May your fires be roaring, your icicles sparkling, your eggnog warming, and your Christmas white. Southern Hemisphere: May your stars be bright, your heat mild, your beaches roomy, and your evenings warm.

This is my absolute favorite time of year for many, many reasons, but the biggest one is why it even exists in the first place. And no, I’m actually not talking about Santa Clause.

Plans and Other Such Jazz

Hello! My goodness, it’s been nearly a month since my last post. This month has been absolutely insane. For one thing, I did 25% of AP English and 25% of AP Bio in a single week. You can imagine how much sleep I got and how much solid food I ate: almost none. It was like the school version of NaNoWriMo. This week isn’t much better; I have to do 50% of my French class in a week, which translates into a unit a day. So far it’s not going too badly, but I’ll have to step it up since I’ll lose time on Thursday for a dentist appointment and on Friday for – squeal!! – horseback riding, finally. I’ve missed it so much.

I do have some new incentive for learning French (not that I ever needed it, but anyway). You see, I’m planning on doing YWAM next year, but I wasn’t sure about the location yet. I want to go where God wants me, and I want to preferably go somewhere I haven’t been before. I can’t tell you how much I miss traveling to different countries. Adventurizing is like an incurable disease. Anyway, it looks like I might be going to the south of France (hence the picture, which I took from the top of the Eiffel tower)!!! It’s not certain yet, but I feel as though this is what God wants. I won’t complain I’ve been to Paris, but it was only three days, and we drove through the French countryside but didn’t stop anywhere. This would be completely incredible, and that is a massive understatement.

But for now I have to focus on some other things. I have the AP exams coming up, so I have to study like a madwoman for them. I’m taking them at my old high school in the US, which will be…odd. Most of my friends are gone, and the ones left were fellow band chinas. I can visit my teachers. But, I don’t know, going back to your old high school only seems to drudge up memories that either hurt because they include that time you ran into a wall because you were staring at the guy you liked, or because they’re so good you suddenly miss high school again.

I also have to find a way to visit my friend who is in college in another state. Oh my jazz. The problem is, I have next to no money, and it’s improbable I’ll find a cheap plane ticket. I can’t drive across America. No one is going to drive me. I. Must. Make. A. Plan.

Plans and Earthquakes

Okay, first of all, please pray for the disaster victims in Haiti. Thousands of people are dead, and the numbers are still rising. In addition, thousands of people are still stuck under debris and very seriously injured. This is already one of the poorest countries in the world, and now hundreds of thousands of people have lost what few possessions they had, or have lost family and friends. Please pray for them and for the rescue organizations to not only receive enough resources, but to have the wisdom to use those resources in the most effective ways. Also, if you would like to make a donation – even $5 will help immensely – go to this website: http://www.google.com/relief/haitiearthquake/#utm_campaign=en&utm_source=en-ha-na-us-sk&utm_medium=ha&utm_term=haiti%20earthquake.

On a different note – and this seems very small in comparison – God has a Plan that we didn’t have. I guess this happens a lot, but still, I feel it’s worth mentioning. Recently, one of our very good friends in the USA who is also a South African received a clean bill of health after struggling with cancer. However, around Christmas, she suddenly began feeling very sick, and they went to the ER. After doing some scans, they told her to go to her doctor immediately (they were in a different town visiting family) because there were some serious complications.

The gist of it is that the cancer is back. Not only that, but one of the tumors has grown from cell-size to larger than a football in less than two weeks, and there are many tumors. She has three daughters and a husband, and one of the girls is about sixteen. She’s now cooking all their dinners because her mom is in bed, sick. Now then. My dad is in the USA currently, and friends are paying for my mom to go to our friend for support and to help out. I’m staying here.

Please pray first of all for our friend and her family. Their lives went from completely normal to crisis literally overnight, and it’s a terrible thing to have to go through. Also, we need serious prayer about what to do now. God has a Plan and he knows what He’s doing, so we’re not worried, but we have to know what to do.

Thanks.

<3 africanstardust