Reminisce

So here I am, sitting across from Cap’n Jack Sparrow’s face, waiting for my dad to bring my dining room table and trying to unpack as much as I can before the Social Hectic Awesomeness begins. A new semester is fast on its way and it’s exciting for three reasons: 1) it’s new, and that’s enough to make it anticipation-worthy; 2) I’m lucky enough to be studying what I love; 3) it’s the first semester of my last undergrad year at UCT.

My, how time flies. Only two years ago I was staying in an old Victorian house that was literally falling apart, with a creep-o landlord, trying desperately to prove to myself that I could do this, that I would do this, that I wouldn’t fail, that I would be the most social, most involved, most hard working first year student ever, despite my introvertness and my rather long and sordid history of procrastination and laziness. We try to go to extremes in an attempt to change our fundamental selves, when really all we have to do is be who we are, the best that we are. I don’t have to hand in assignments two weeks early; I just have to hand them in on time and done well. Extremes are our downfall in so many ways.

It’s a bit sad, really. School is less than fun and it takes forever, and then you get to university and suddenly it’s all worth it and it all makes sense…and before you know it, you’re waiting for your last undergrad year to begin. But life is change and movement and pain and growth, and things must end before new things can begin; better things.

But for now, I am grateful that my parents are able to send me to university, that I am at UCT and will be for at least another year, that I have friends who are soul friends, the kind you won’t shove reluctantly out of your heart when you move on, and that I am studying what I love so that I can do what I love. I don’t think you can get luckier than that, really. So thank you, God, for all these abundant blessings that I don’t deserve, and let me steward them well and come through this year with sparkles and colors and the gloriousness of hard work and authentic authenticity.

It’s That Time Again

Lights! Camera! Exams! Yes indeed, the time has come. So in light of that and the fact that I haven’t posted in ages, I thought I’d do this slightly irregular post about: How to Stay Sane While Studying. I offer some advice.

-make time to jump/dance around your flat/house/room/closet like a maniac. music would probably be good, but sometimes I like to go without.

-cook elaborate meals! at the moment I’m working on some fried noodles and chicken…partly because I overcooked the chicken in the first place, but also because it’s fun to do. during exams.

-go outside. seriously, fresh air = fresh brain. brain wrinkles are good, but sometimes you need to air the thing out, you know?

-make allllll the kinds of tea you have. indian chai, vanilla chai, green tea with mint, green tea with lemon, earl grey, rooibos, rooibos with blackberry, normal tea, ethiopian normal tea…tea = goodness for your soul.

-stretch. better yet, go outside and stretch.

-spend some time with Jesus.

-don’t panic. everything will actually, literally, for seriously, be. ok.

Phonetics

Excuse these mangled phrases
as I type them at my desk
where I’ve been camped out
in the library for hours.
I feel the need to say
that today is not my day
because my paper, sad to say,
is trying to kill me.
I’ve come to the conclusion
don’t wanna be a phonetician
because it’s boring
and that’s all I can really say.
Pound your head against a wall
preferably one made of brick
and you’ll see
what it’s like to write a paper
on phonetics.
Does anyone have a spoon
I can gag myself with
because the ER
might be better
than where I am right now.
Hyped up on coffee
and I’m hungry.
Outside it’s cold and rainy,
won’t be home for hours.
Because I have to write this paper
on how to make a dozen clicks
when really
my mind is on sleeping.
Phoneticians must be angels
or else just insane.
because the IPA
is tedious and annoying.
And that’s all I have to say.

3 Weeks Left

It’s year 2, semester 1, term 2, end of week 3. It’s what we like to call the brain-dead period, which is rather annoying, because most of your work tends to happen around this time. UCT is like a stress-a-thon and the libraries and computer labs are full for a change.

I am sitting in my kitchen and it’s 7:40 am, and I’ve been awake since 4 am doing Greek. I stayed up until 11:30 doing Greek, at which point I apparently fell asleep sitting upright with Greek on my lap. At 2 I woke up to find that in my sleep I’d shoved the Greek aside, closed my laptop and put it on the floor, and taken off my glasses. Coffee is no longer just a necessity, it’s THE necessity. I also fell asleep again this morning, sitting upright, holding my coffee cup.

You know that point where you have literally stretched your brain so far that it refuses to function anymore? And if you try to study or do work it’s like a fuse in your head blows? That’s where 95% of the student population is right now. Also, you know that point where all the lecturers of all the departments get together and schedule all the due dates for enormous assignment over a period of two weeks? That’s where 100% of the staff is right now.

What’s also really awesome is that the people who drive the Jammie shuttles, aka the reason why UCT even has students (it’s on a mountain, and to get there, you have to walk uphill, for a while, and then climb all 101 Jammie steps along with the ones on Middle campus and then the ones in your respective building), decided to strike yesterday. So half of the 26,000 students aren’t on campus and the other half, who are already exhausted, are now really exhausted. Not to mention the poor people on crutches and with disabilities who can’t get to campus without some sort of transportation.

I am writing this rambling blog post for no reason at all except that it makes me feel sane, even though it probably makes me sound insane. But whatever. I have a Greek lecture at 9 am. But whatever. Three weeks left and then exams, and then we can all sleep. A good day that will be.

This message is brought to you by the Department of Brain Dead UCT Students and Coffee Addicts Anonymous Department.

The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same

At a secular university (most likely at any university, but this is not about any university), you are expected to be able to defend (in the sense of defining, logically explaining, supporting with evidence and/or logical steps originating from a proven premise, etc) what you think and believe, and why you think and believe it. At least this is my experience at UCT in Cape Town, South Africa, in the Humanities faculty. And although I’m going to talk specifically about the Department of Religious Studies, it is by no means limited to the department. Maybe I’ve just met all the nerds in the faculty, and I know I can’t place everyone under this banner, but Humanities (for those of us who actually want to be here and are not just doing a BA so we can slack off) is about receiving knowledge, challenging it, transforming it, and updating it. Nothing is fact; everything is under trial, and we are the judges. I’m not just saying this, either; the vice chancellor himself told us this on the first day. You kind of get into this mindset after a while, and it’s not surprising that people take it outside their lectures and tuts.

This semester, I am taking a religious studies course called Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. I knew going into this that it was going to be intense, and after just the first tut, I knew it like I know the sun comes up every morning. It was different studying religions that I’ve had very little contact with, that are not evangelist religions, and that are somewhere far, far away across the ocean. But this…this is intense.I knew going into this that I would be walking a very fine line between trying to be objective in the study of religion, and actually compromising on what is true and right. It was different, but already challenging, in the first semester, because we weren’t studying Christianity. Now, though, we will be, and after the first tut it’s clear that there are going to be some heavy discussions.

In the first place, saying you’re a Christian, especially in this course, is like sticking a sign on your forehead that reads, “Don’t take anything I say seriously because I’m one of those hypocritical, arrogant people who think they’re perfect and are narrow-minded and petty.” This is, and not without reason, the perception many people have of Christians and Christianity. We – and not even all of us anymore, but that’s a whole other story – are one of the very few (and I actually think the only one) faith groups who still stick to our guns; we say Jesus is the only way to God, period. Most, if not all, religions have for the most part evolved to say that you just do your thing, whatever works for you is right, there are many paths to God, or even that you are God. Unitarian churches are becoming more and more popular, and entire organizations have it as their mission to find commonality in all religions and make people tolerant of each other’s beliefs. Many Christians have even adopted this attitude, the one that is peaceful and “okay” and not horrendously intolerant.

Christianity is “intolerant.” It is politically incorrect, it is discriminatory, it is offensive. I say all this with a touch of sarcasm because these are human terms and human concepts, terms created to protect human rights which actually do not exist and which change according to what fad is currently popular in politics. The love of Christ is open to anyone and everyone, but demands our all.

But Christianity, at least the Christianity that is truly following Christ and having a personal relationship with him, is not a religion. Yes, there is a Christian religion, and it is no different from the Jewish religion or the Muslim religion or any other religion there is. Religion is, according to my lecturer, a way of thinking, a way of living, and a social behavior pattern. It is, in other words, a human thing. It is a way for humans to think, it is a way for humans to live, and a way for humans to conduct themselves socially. I completely agree with him. Religion is a human institution, created by humans, kept alive by humans, for humans. It’s a safety net and a driving force, a weapon and a tool.

Christianity, the real Christianity, is none of these things. It displays some of the same elements, but to study it in this way is to approach it from the wrong end. We do not have a religion because we have a doctrine, a set of rules, and popes and bishops and priests and whatever else. We are not spiritual, we are not righteous, because we follow God’s commands. We follow God’s commands because we are righteous. When we become Christians, we are cleansed by the blood of Christ, washed completely clean, and the Holy Spirit lives in us, making us righteous by his mercy, grace, and power; we cannot become righteous by trying to follow the 10 commandments. It is out of the strength he gives us, and more importantly, out of the love he enables us to have for Jesus, that we do what pleases God. It is not like an abused wife who does what her husband says because she fears him, or like the wife in a boring, dead marriage who does what she should because it’s expected; it’s like the wife who is both passionately loved by and is passionately in love with her husband, and who naturally does what she knows will please him, for the sake of pleasing him.

Fear and guilt no longer play a part, because we now have a relationship with the living God, who is our savior, father, and friend. We do what he wants us to because we love him, and because we want to please him. It is a relationship, not a religion.

So my dilemma in this course is: do I accept that there is such a thing as a Christian religion (which there is), and study it from that perspective, leaving everyone to their assumptions and opinions, or do I say something? Saying something would mean not only saying the actual thing, but also explaining it, meaning going into the heart of the truth – Jesus, the way, the truth, and the life. Meaning, of course, sounding like an intolerant, discriminating fool and/or lunatic. But that has always been the price, and it’s not even fine print. The New Testament writers make no secret of it that they faced serious trials, much worse than what we face now in westernized countries (for the most part). Having a tut group think I’m a non-functioning, narrow-minded, look-at-the-pretty-lights human being is much more preferable than being boiled in oil or crucified, upside down or right side up, or bring beheaded (probably the best way to go, if you have to pick one of these). But is it my place, in a course which objectively, almost scientifically looks at these religions, to say something?

I have clearly heard God telling me, since the beginning of the year, the following…though of course none of these are new revelations, but things rarely feel relevant to us when we’re not in a position to need them.
1. He is God. He does not need defending, he does not need to be stood up for.
2. The truth does not need defending or to be stood up for.
3. But the truth does have to be spoken.

In other words, it is not my place to fight with people, to get into niggling debates with them, or to prove that I’m right. It has nothing to do with me at all. It is my place – and not only that, but my responsibility and my, and every Christian’s, calling – to speak the truth; to tell of Jesus and his love; to explain in whatever words the Holy Spirit puts in my mouth what it’s actually all about…while, of course, acknowledging that the Christian religion is different and separate from following Christ. The purpose, after all, is not to tell people their ideas and preconceptions about Christianity are wrong. It is to, in the most familiar, most Biblical words, preach the gospel, in and out of season (2 Timothy 4:2), in all circumstances and to all peoples and nations (Matthew 28:18-20). We cannot convert people; that is something only the Holy Spirit can do, and the word convert has connotations that make me hesitant to use it now, so let me rather say transform. One human cannot transform another; only God can do that. We are the sowers of the seed of the gospel of truth, we are the carriers of the message. We can speak the truth, we can pray for others, we can ask for the strength and wisdom to live as Christ lived and wants us to live, and we can love through the power of the Holy Spirit and be his Body here on earth, with his Spirit who gives us life.